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Negotiations with your ex- Where to start?
Tips and help for negotiations with your ex-partner
After separation it can sometimes be difficult to have discussions with your ex-partner. If you and your ex-partner are amicable, or at least on talking terms, you may want to have some direct discussions with your ex-partner about a resolution of your matter. This would save time, stress and costs for you both of you.Here you learn how to navigate direct settlement negotiations with your Ex, where to start, what to do and what not to do, and how to recognise when you might need some support with those discussion.
1. PreparationBefore you talk to your ex-partner, be clear on your objectives. What do you need to talk about? What are the issues? Think about your financial needs, the parenting arrangements, the children’s best interests, what property settlement you want to achieve, and is this achievable? Have a clear picture of your objectives, the proposals you want to make, the proposal your ex-partner might make and possible compromises before you negotiate with your ex partner.
2. Get legal adviceBefore you negotiate with your ex-partner you should know what your rights are and what the possible outcome in the family law court might be. If you don’t know your rights, it is difficult to make a decision and come to an agreement, as you don’t know what you would be entitled to. You don’t have to negotiate hard to get every last cent out of your ex-partner in a property settlement, as you might want to compromise to get the matter resolved quickly, but you should at least know what you are entitled to in the first place. We can provide you with complete legal advice so that you know your rights when you negotiate with your ex.
3. Keep the emotions out of itWhen you have discussions with your partner about the finances or the children, try to keep the emotions out of it. Don’t discuss the reasons for the breakdown of the relationship or start blaming the other party for their behaviour, as this will be counter-productive and not help with the negotiations. Try to use neutral language, rather than emotional language, and try to keep it polite and solution focused. Treat your ex-partner like you would treat your business partner in business negotiations, rather than an ex-partner of an intimate relationship.You might want to consider whether you are negotiating in person, where you might need a dot point sheet with you, or whether you want to email or text your ex-partner with your proposal.
4. Fine TuningWhen you have a discussion with your ex-partner you might be able to reach an agreement in principle. This might mean that you might need some fine tuning around the specific details of the agreement. It is important that the agreement is very clear and enforceable if neccessary. We often have people asked us to help them to fine tune their agreements and to make sure that all main aspects and important details are covered. 5. FormalisingIt is important to formalise an agreement between you and your ex-partner to finalise the issues between you and your ex-partner, whether parenting or financial. You can formalise your agreement by way of consent orders. They are legally binding documents that are filed with the court. Once the court approves the orders, they will become sealed and enforceable court orders. Consent orders can be made in relation to parenting matters and property settlements. You can also formalise your agreement in relation to your finances by way of a binding financial agreement. For a binding financial agreement to be binding, both parties need independent legal advice. Binding financial agreements cannot be made for parenting arrangements. We can help you to formalise your agreement, that you have been able to reach with your ex-partner. We will work with you to identify the best way to formalise your agreement, and to fine tune the specific details. We offer a free 15 minute strategy call where we can identify the best way for you to move towards a resolution.
***Disclaimer***This article is for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice or any other professional advice.
1. PreparationBefore you talk to your ex-partner, be clear on your objectives. What do you need to talk about? What are the issues? Think about your financial needs, the parenting arrangements, the children’s best interests, what property settlement you want to achieve, and is this achievable? Have a clear picture of your objectives, the proposals you want to make, the proposal your ex-partner might make and possible compromises before you negotiate with your ex partner.
2. Get legal adviceBefore you negotiate with your ex-partner you should know what your rights are and what the possible outcome in the family law court might be. If you don’t know your rights, it is difficult to make a decision and come to an agreement, as you don’t know what you would be entitled to. You don’t have to negotiate hard to get every last cent out of your ex-partner in a property settlement, as you might want to compromise to get the matter resolved quickly, but you should at least know what you are entitled to in the first place. We can provide you with complete legal advice so that you know your rights when you negotiate with your ex.
3. Keep the emotions out of itWhen you have discussions with your partner about the finances or the children, try to keep the emotions out of it. Don’t discuss the reasons for the breakdown of the relationship or start blaming the other party for their behaviour, as this will be counter-productive and not help with the negotiations. Try to use neutral language, rather than emotional language, and try to keep it polite and solution focused. Treat your ex-partner like you would treat your business partner in business negotiations, rather than an ex-partner of an intimate relationship.You might want to consider whether you are negotiating in person, where you might need a dot point sheet with you, or whether you want to email or text your ex-partner with your proposal.
4. Fine TuningWhen you have a discussion with your ex-partner you might be able to reach an agreement in principle. This might mean that you might need some fine tuning around the specific details of the agreement. It is important that the agreement is very clear and enforceable if neccessary. We often have people asked us to help them to fine tune their agreements and to make sure that all main aspects and important details are covered. 5. FormalisingIt is important to formalise an agreement between you and your ex-partner to finalise the issues between you and your ex-partner, whether parenting or financial. You can formalise your agreement by way of consent orders. They are legally binding documents that are filed with the court. Once the court approves the orders, they will become sealed and enforceable court orders. Consent orders can be made in relation to parenting matters and property settlements. You can also formalise your agreement in relation to your finances by way of a binding financial agreement. For a binding financial agreement to be binding, both parties need independent legal advice. Binding financial agreements cannot be made for parenting arrangements. We can help you to formalise your agreement, that you have been able to reach with your ex-partner. We will work with you to identify the best way to formalise your agreement, and to fine tune the specific details. We offer a free 15 minute strategy call where we can identify the best way for you to move towards a resolution.
***Disclaimer***This article is for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice or any other professional advice.